Laughing is the beginning of healing. This year started off rough for me, I lossed an important man in my life to bladder cancer. Once he passed in the beginning of the year, little by little I began to realize my laughing was fading. Almost a bit more serious about things and thinking so much about life on a large scale. Now, for those who know me I think a lot, I analyze things like nobodies business ... I'm working on getting out of that, but its always been apart of me.
For so long, I would laugh and smile about everything. When someone asked me how was I doing my go to would be I'm good ... but was I really good? As humans we have a tendency of just saying I'm fine, or good because really do we want to share with others how we really feel? To be honest with yourself is huge and then to share it with someone else can be mortifying .. or maybe its just me.
Shying away from things I enjoyed doing and turning to things that make me laugh. Comedies and free flowing things became my escape from grieving ... theres nothing like a good laugh, I love when someone makes my eyes watery from laughing so hard at something -- and thats rare. Over the pass week or so I've laughed more than I've laughed in the pass year. So everyday I'm constantly finding light in things and learning that a loss is not actually a loss, I gained a spiritual angel (pops) and although in the physical I may not see him. His spirit is aligned with mine. Death is part of life and although no one wants to speak on the subject we all have a time.
Finding your light after a death in your family .. is tough. You gain this undeniable strength and sense of purpose but, you also can feel so lost and hurt that the only way to channel your emotions and feelings is through things that make you feel liberated. For anyone who has been grieving (relationship, friendship, losing a family member, pet etc) I want you to cry .... like go in the shower and let it go all down the drain. Not saying it will fix the hurt, but it may easy you some. Aside from your own personal religion or belief ... meditate, pray, whatever feels good to your soul and release.
When I started releasing how important laughing meant to me, I seen how much I light up. I searched high and low for ways to get me into feeling lighter than what I was experiencing. Don't get me wrong I still have my days, but always remember there are people battling things you have no idea about. Ask someone how are they doing today, offer advice if the time is right, and sometimes just say .. hey if you ever need someone I'm here for you. The smallest things in life can light someones life up. So I release laughter into the universe .. I want everyone to smile and laugh as much as possible, because you deserve it.
with lots of love and bubbly, xo