Since we are getting closer and closer to ending 2017, theres been some chapters that needs to be closed in order to start fresh. Every year what's that saying "New Year, New Me" who has time to wait until the calendar says 1/1/ -- (whatever year) to begin embarking on new things? I find that putting off until the actual New Year to begin or end something (habits, binge watching w.e) is counterproductive. So here's today December 6, a brand new day to start doing something you've been putting off doing.
This year for me has been a whirlwind of rollercoasters and theres still a solid three weeks of finishing this year up strong. What I have noticed about this year in particular is the many chapters I never fully closed in my life, have you experienced this before? the kind of chapter where you move on and still carrying some old luggage in your heart? For years carrying my past was the hardest thing to shed, I think the pain of it all is what I fed off to become harder around the edges. For whatever reason, this year ! my god had something else planned for me, he said I'm going to have any man that entered your life at whatever point, come back and sincerely apologize. And just like that ... one by one this year I received an apologize from my past.
It's normal to move on without closure, for me that's all I knew .. is closing doors and moving on even if I was still hurt by something. It's a defense mechanism to always keep it pushing even if it hurts .. make that shit look so easy even if you sweat when you're alone. The thing is I didn't know the long over due apologizes would come, not years later at least ... you know that bitter feeling after you end it with someone you thought would be forever? I had those feelings too, to my surprise I was willing after getting over that tart feeling to be friends and sometimes can be the most difficult if an Ex can't be just a friend, like a real friend (no friends with benefits, just a homie) because once upon a time thats how it all started right?
Honestly I appreciate my past and all that I experienced being in relationships. I learned so much about myself and what I WILL NOT TOLERATE, which is nothing less than my worth or what I bring to the table. Whether I ended it or they ended it. So, to my past thank you! thank you for the lessons, the memories, the crazy it may have brought out of me (shamelessly okay with admitting this) the adventure and most importantly the friendships that were built prior to dating, showing me parts of myself I haven't faced and issues that were stuffed in a places tucked away. This post is about closing the doors and moving forward, as well as recognizing the growth in individuals as well as myself. Is there anything you would like to close? If, so what would it be?
If you don't gain anything else from this, I hope that men and women .. you close chapters for yourself by yourself and don't feel bad for doing so, (whatever that chapter may be) closing something doesn't necessarily mean it was bad to you or for you, it just doesn't fit who you are now .. and that's okay too! We can't always be friends with ex's and that's OK (I didn't believe in being friends after break-ups either, especially once you've entered a new relationship) Apologizes goes a longggg way, sometimes a longer way than any gift can measure. A sincere apology for whatever it may be can mend parts of a person, that may not even know they needed it.
Since we are so close to wrapping up this year ... I hope everyone closes something thats been holding them back from shooting forward.
As always with lots of love and bubbly,